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I saw in the paper, just before the current
England cricket tour to Pakistan, that Andrew Flintoff was taking his
autobiography with him as "he hadn't read it yet". I kid you not! This
reminded me of another pet hate: celebrity autobiographies.
Unless something has changed since I was at
school, an autobiography was a book someone wrote about themselves. That is:
only one person can write that person's autobiography, and that is that person
him or herself. Anything else is a biography. It may be authorised or official,
but unless the subject person wrote it him or herself, it is not an
autobiography!
It really cracks me up: Gavin Henson, for
example, plays a Six Nations tournament in 2005 (shoots to fame for one blinding
tackle and the most phenomenal kick to save a match), then gets selected for a
Lions squad (which let's face it, was the worst ever). The tour was a disaster,
he hardly plays but a month after he gets back, his "autobiography" comes out.
Bollocks. He's about 25, had about 18 international caps and he's written his
autobiography during his first ever hectic season and whilst being on an
embarrassing tour. Philippe Sella, David Campo, Francois Pienaar, Rob Andrew,
Zinzan, Sean Fitzpatrick, Willy-John McBride, Gareth Edwards, Tim Horan.... I
could list hundred players with collectively thousands of test matches under
their belts. These are guys with something to tell.
It's a marketing ploy like everything else in
Britain. Ooh ooh quick, people recognise his name, lets sell stuff! What gets me
even more, is that people rush out and buy it! He did get caught out, though.
When his book came out is slagged off half his team mates. One wonders whether -
had he actually know what was in it - he'd have "written" it...
Here's a list of "autobiographers" that aren't. I
challenge you to prove me wrong:
- David Beckham
- Victoria Beckham
- Jordan
- Freddie Flintoff
- Gavin Henson
- Sharon Osbourne
- Ryan Giggs
I await Kevin Pietersen's with baited breath.
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