Dan, who's been a long time
supporter of The Org., writes:
I'm getting married in a few
weeks and was told I needed some new "smart" shoes. Grudgingly I
set off for my nearest menswear shop.
On arrival I finally located the shoe
section, why do they always have to move the displays
around every 5 minutes (although I do confess it is maybe 18
months since I last set foot in such a shop).
After much panicked scouring of the
shelves, who wants pointy shoes or pink linings, I settled for a
pair of shoes (sorry, shoe, as you only get to see one) that I
could see myself putting up with for the "special" day.
I then managed to interrupt a couple of
gossiping attendants to ask them to retrieve the other shoe so
that I might try on the full compliment (i.e. a pair). I was
told that they would have to locate someone who could help
me..... which eventually they did, (apparently they have
dedicated shoe fetching staff), we'll call her Rover (that's a
good fetching type name) or Roverette as she was female.
I am size 9, which 90% of the
rest of the male population seem to be, so there was no size 9s
left on display. Roverette told me that this didn't look good as
all the sizes they had should be on display..... but she would
go and "have a look" for me. A few minutes later Roverette
returned with a left foot shoe in size 9. "Good news, I've found
one" she announced..... I pointed out that one shoe on its own
wasn't much good. After 5 minutes of re-checking the shelves for
a right foot size 9, she asked me if I'd like her to go and
"look a bit more" in the store cupboard, to which I politely
replied "yes".
Several minutes later, she returned
emptied handed... "sorry, couldn't find one, would you like me
to "look a bit harder"? I might be able to find one next time".
I began to feel somewhat
perplexed by this method of locating shoes, so I just said "yes
okay".
Another several minutes later,
Roverette appeared with a size 9 shoe! Hurrah, I thought, only
to discover it was another left foot shoe.
"Would you like me look a bit
harder again?" Roverette asked. "Well duh!" I thought to myself,
but just nodded.
Another "Would you like me to
look a bit harder?" followed, along with the retrieval of
another redundant left foot shoe, plus a "Would you like me to
look on a different shelf in the store cupboard?" (that one
really me got me).... then I was finally presented with a right
foot shoe!!
It took all my powers of mental
restraint to stop myself shouting, "Why the hell could you not
just have searched to maximum "hardness" in the first sodding
place!?!"
Instead I just said "thank you"
like a good little customer.
"Would you like to try them on
now sir?" Roverette asked.... "Yes please I said".
"Ok, I'll go and look for the
shoe horn" she replied........ I stifled a squeak and just said
"no actually I'm sure they'll be fine, I'll just take them".
After she'd located the till, I
paid and left.
I'm not sure what baffled me the
most, her graded level of searching, or the fact that she was
meant to be the dedicated shoe locating member of staff!
Perhaps someone with too much
time on their hands has been devising corporate training
programs.... she may have taken the distinction between Shoe
Locating for Beginners, Intermediates, and Advanced a little too
literally.
Shoe related rant over.
Note from Leesiedotorg:
Thanks Dan. Always good to hear that Leesie.org will never run out
of material. It seems morons are abundant on our planet. Hell,
sometimes you even find them running countries.
I hope for your sake that the shoes
fit and you don't have to take them back.
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