This week has been lovely. The sun
has been out and the rain has held back; really, it's been
great.The thing about
great weather is that it brings with it a bevy of beautiful
women. I'm not sure what the deal is in winter, but in summer
they seem to come out of the woodwork.
It was while admiring these fine
specimens that I noticed something that I'd been over-looking.
Everyone knows about fake tan and I'm sure more people than
you'd expect actually use it. The thing is, though, I am of the
opinion that is should be used as a kind of tan topper-upper. A
complement, if you like. Not a supplement.
What is it with these women
(David Dickinson aside, it's always women) who paint themselves
orange? It's ridiculous. Are we supposed to say how lovely they
look? "Ooh, 'ave you been away, Love? Your tan is lovely!"
"Yeah, we was in Marbella nine
mumfs ago".
I mean it's like the Emperor's
clothes. No one dare say, "why are you orange?" Because that
would be rude but, to be honest, someone should point out that
it doesn't look like a tan. It looks like orange paint. And
while being sun-kissed looks healthy, painting yourself orange
and pretending have a tan is about as convincing as those men
who have hair implants in small pea-sized clumps rendering a
scalp like a cheap 1950's Barbie doll pretending to have a full
head of hair.
Just don't. Ok? Please!
