Sri Lanka

Update: 31

We left the Philippines with healthy tans and happily took up Cathay Pacific's offer of business class flights to Colombo. The stop over in Hong Kong meant we could spend five hours in their business class lounge helping ourselves to delicious Chinese fare, gins 'n tonic and infinite wireless internet. I tell you, when you've been sleeping where we have, little things like this are a godsend. Even though we wore the smartest clothes we could find in our extensive wardrobe of filthy t-shirts, ripped shorts and sandals, I know we looked out of place as everyone else was suited. I hoped that I might pass myself off as a Silicon Valley IT billionaire shunning the corporate look but that was thwarted when, in my enthusiasm, I knocked red wine all over the stewardess. I sensed her pity and could tell she was thinking "Ah bless, they've been upgraded. He's never had wine before."

Anyway, one day Champagne and reclining seats; the next sitting on the floor of a crowded train chugging up into the Sri Lankan hinterland. This is the life of the international bum.

I like Sri Lanka. It's India for rookies and an easy introduction to the Sub-Continent. The train to Kandy provides about three hours of pretty spectacular scenery. It goes from sea level to 500m taking in the coastal plain, some rice paddies and then the highlands. It would have been even better if we'd had a seat.

With the Tsunami aftermath and the civil war in the north, tourism is, sadly, suffering. Hotels are nearly empty which is great for negotiating rates, but very tough on hoteliers. In Kandy, we found a room that took us back to the days of the Empire. An old house on the hill behind the city away from the noise and next to a nature reserve with a houseboy named Sampat, who called me "Sah" and Tam "Ma'am". 

I kept telling him to call me Andrew and wanted to point out that we're all equal now, but I'm not kidding when I say I think that would have shattered his world. To this day, Sampat is the only person I have ever met who appears to genuinely relish his role as a servant.

His absolute devotion to serving us made us both feel a little awkward. Well, that and the way he wobbled his head from side to side when he meant yes. His extreme squint, whereby his eyes focused outwards (rather than over his nose) didn't help either, but it was quite useful, I suppose. It meant that Tam and I could sit at opposite ends of the table and he could talk holding eye contact with both of us simultaneously.

An interesting thing happened on the way back down to Colombo. Our bus was pulled over by the military and everyone ordered to alight for an identity check. As Tam and I stood up, we were told not to worry. I've never met a a Tamil Tiger, but I tell you something, they're not bald white guys.